| Frequently
Asked Questions • What is a Marriage and Family Therapist? • How do I know if a MFT clinician is legitimate? • I’ve had some bad experiences with therapy. How can I have a better experience this time? • Is there a difference between counseling and therapy? • If my child is the one misbehaving, why should we all go to therapy? • What should I do if my partner / family member(s) and I are having problems and I am the only one who thinks therapy might be necessary? • I / We are not the same race/ethnicity/cultural background/religion/sexual orientation as you. How will you be able to understand us? • What can I expect at my first visit? What is a Marriage and Family Therapist? MFTs are trained relationship experts. Most MFTs have a masters or doctoral level education from a clinical training program which meets high and uniform standards. MFTs who graduate from accredited programs have unique skills for understanding the complexity of relationships and how to help. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) accredits graduate education and clinical training programs in marriage and family therapy throughout the United States and Canada through the Commission on Accreditation for Marriage and Family Therapy Education (COAMFTE). Since 1978, the COAMFTE has been recognized by the United States Department of Education (USDE) as the national accrediting body for the field of marriage and family therapy. How do I know if a MFT clinician is legitimate? Registered clinical members of AAMFT must meet rigorous standards for education and experience. Only clinical members are listed on AAMFT’s Therapist Locator page. Only clinical members may utilize the AAMFT Clinical Member logo on their practice materials. Most states now license MFTs as psychotherapists. All persons practicing psychotherapy in NY State must be licensed. You can check a clinician’s license in NY by visiting the online verification page of the Office of the Professions of the NY Stated Education Department. I’ve had some bad experiences with therapy. How can I have a better experience this time? Your experiences with therapy have probably made you a more educated consumer. You know more about what will work for you and what will not. Make a list of what is most important to you, and what you are concerned about. Interview your prospective therapist as you would a candidate for employment. A sensitive clinician will be willing to hear your concerns in an initial phone call. I always ask new clients about their previous experiences with therapy, as a part of the development of our relationship together. Therapy is always a voluntary experience, which you can end at any time. Is there a difference between counseling and therapy? Yes and no, depending on who you speak with. Sometimes clinicians and laypeople use these terms interchangeably. Traditionally, psychotherapy referred to psychoanalytic process (remember Freud?), but as therapeutic practices broadened beyond psychoanalysis, this distinction no longer makes sense. You will find counselors who do therapy and psychotherapists who do counseling. Let me tell you how I use the terms in this practice. In both cases our work is about developing a relationship of trust and mutual respect. Counseling herein refers to a shorter term problem/solution focus aimed at a definable behavior or problem or external condition, and a clear outcome. It is generally finished when the outcome is achieved. Psychotherapy herein refers to a deeper process of working on internal representations and patterns, and underlying conditions in a person or a family. These conditions may be responsible for a variety of behaviors and situations. Psychotherapy helps individuals and families to become more aware of these processes, and applies techniques to effect change on a deeper level. Depending on the circumstances, counseling for symptom change can sometimes be just a temporary fix, and lasting change may require deeper work. Unfortunately insurance and managed care companies are structured to reinforce the first level symptom-change. The distinction between counseling and therapy is not always clear, as one often contains elements of the other. For example a couple may be in counseling together to improve communication, while they are also being supported therapeutically to see how families of origin patterns effect their perceptions and behaviors throughout this relationship. Or a child may be engaged in intensive attachment and trauma therapy while parents are counseled and instructed in ways to adopt new parenting styles. If my child is the one misbehaving, why should we all go to therapy? Everyone seems to be pointing the finger at us as parents. Nothing makes parents feel more helpless and vulnerable than a child who does not seem to respond to their best efforts. I will always assume that parents who come to me want good things for their children and are doing their best. Many parents are in a pattern of negativity or exhausted surrender by the time they reach out for help, but the reaching out shows that they have hope and courage. You are the most important person in your child’s life. Believe it or not, you will lead your child to change. Your child will not change without your understanding and support. This will usually mean difficult changes for everyone, but you are already using a tremendous amount of energy ineffectively; why not channel that energy into some new ways that work? You can find people to treat your child individually; however, I do not believe that a child can make lasting changes without parental involvement. A major part of my job in child therapy is supporting and coaching parents. What should I do if my partner / family member(s) and I are having problems and I am the only one who thinks therapy might be necessary? People participate in things that benefit them in some way. If your language as a couple/family is problem-focused, a sense of negativity and hopelessness may be increasing resistance. Try discussing what you hope to gain with your partner in a positive way to create interest and enthusiasm for change. Resistance to therapy can mean many things. You may have different ideas about what a problem is in general, or about what the problem is in your family/relationship. Try finding even a tiny slice of common ground to start with. Fear can also be an obstacle. Some common fears are: What will it be like? Will she make me do something weird? Will she blame me or embarrass me in front of my partner/family? Will I have to talk about things I am uncomfortable sharing? Will I even be able to talk? You can start by committing to an initial session to see if you feel comfortable with the therapist and the process, and to express your fears. You might also call the therapist and discuss your concerns before the first visit. If you are somewhat comfortable on the phone, you will likely become more comfortable later. Offer to have your partner and you each call the therapist separately and then decide if you would like to go. Agree that you will be sure to allow each other to speak in the first session about your different perspectives, without interrupting. As a last resort, you can come alone. You can gain valuable insight and suggestions, which can impact your couple or parenting style, so that you can be making changes in yourself and in your own relationships more effectively. Often, when others see that you are calmer, happier, less stressed, and that you value therapy, they will be more interested in joining the process. I / We are not the same race/ethnicity/cultural background/religion/sexual orientation as you. How will you be able to understand us? I will have to listen well and check in with you about how we are doing. I take culture and the diversity of our essential characteristics very seriously as elements that impact who we each are and how we are in relationships. I am committed to learning about each client’s culture from them as well as from my experiences outside of the therapy room. Our honesty with one another throughout the process will ensure that you feel understood, respected and free to be authentic – essentials for any therapeutic process. I hope you will make this one of your first questions of me. If not, and if I am aware of our differences, I may raise them, and ask you: how you think they affect our work together; or what you would like me to know about you as we work together; or what will be helpful for you in this process? I have worked successfully with many persons and families who differ from me in all the ways described above. What can I expect at my first visit? In part, that depends on how much homework you wish to do before you arrive. You can print forms (links below), read and fill them out prior to the first session, or you can arrive early and complete this step prior to your session. New client packets will be available in the waiting area on a clipboard. In the first session, I will explain my practice, and answer your questions. We usually have time to begin discussing what brought you to see me. I may send you home with more in depth assessment forms to complete. I will end the session by telling you, based on limited information, how I expect treatment to proceed, and some of the possibilities I see for your situation. My primary goal in a first session is to help you feel comfortable with me and with therapy, and to help you leave my office with some sense of hope and maybe a small spark of new energy. Below are some forms you can download and bring with you. We can fill them out together and I am happy to go over them with you if you have questions. A separate Authorization form will need to be completed for each person I share information with or obtain information from on your behalf. Intake Information Form Office Policies and Consent for Treatment Authorization for the Release of Confidential Information |
p.o. box 282 || 72 south main street || homer NY 13077 || phone (607) 749 3011 || fax (607) 749 3012 |